In a typical American high school, it is normal to see a fair number of couples walking down the hall, hands held, exchanges hugs, or even sharing kisses in dimly lit corners. These acts have never been restricted, they are a part of growing up as an American and attending an American high school.
The high school scene is completely different here. It is rare to see a group of girls hanging out with a group of guys, and vice versa. That said, a girl and a guy actually dating, and hugging, holding hands, and kissing, is a huge surprise. It is strange to think, but the way girls feel about boys here is much like how we (American girls) felt about boys when we were 5: they have cooties and are gross. Boys, they are a different pickle all together. Not only are they painfully shy, but family expectations keep them from messing around with girls that they are not certain they will marry.
How things "look" is a very important part of Asian culture. Not only do teenagers not date because of the variety of reasons listed above, but also because they don't want to be percieved as someone who does not focus on their studies because they have time to court a suitor. Some how, Boyfriend and girlfriend = lazy kids who are probably failing out of school. Parents are very concerned about their students education, so unless the student is the best in the class, or the parents are a little westernized, they will forbid, truly forbid (not the American dad thing where he says that you can't date until you are 30, but there you are in a homecoming dress at 16), the act of hanging out with boys or contacting boys unless it is for a school project. Sometimes understanding this is difficult, but I believe if I had grown up in this society, I would feel much the same way as the other girls my age, and I wouldn't question the rules my parents have laid down.
It is an interesting difference, and one that I don't completely agree with, but that is what this exchang is about; seeing these differences, understanding where they came from, accepting them, and respecting them. We are all different, and the societies that we all grew up in are sometimes as different as planets, but we are all one race: one world. I'm glad that I have the oppurtunity to see something that contrasts so greatly with the culture that I grew up in, and learn from it.
What I have come to understand about love, dating, relationships, and that very adult word that starts with an "s", is that it is much more sacred here than western culture holds it to be. Some people go through boyfriends or girlfriends like tissues in a box. And everytime, their view of love becomes a little distorted, and they lose sight of what they really need to look for in someone that they will stay with for the rest of their lives. Maybe I am too young, or just speaking out of ignorance, but I believe that American society could benefit from employing some of these rules. But, America is America, and although we are a very progessive nation, nothing like this could ever change.
But, maybe changes could start with parents: establishing high expectations, laying down rules that can not be negotiated, and talking with kids about the importance of schooling, and that boys, even though they are starting to look handsome around their 17th birthday, do in fact have cooties, and are gross. So stay away!
Let me know how you feel about this topic, I love comments:)
Thanks for reading,
A.
The high school scene is completely different here. It is rare to see a group of girls hanging out with a group of guys, and vice versa. That said, a girl and a guy actually dating, and hugging, holding hands, and kissing, is a huge surprise. It is strange to think, but the way girls feel about boys here is much like how we (American girls) felt about boys when we were 5: they have cooties and are gross. Boys, they are a different pickle all together. Not only are they painfully shy, but family expectations keep them from messing around with girls that they are not certain they will marry.
How things "look" is a very important part of Asian culture. Not only do teenagers not date because of the variety of reasons listed above, but also because they don't want to be percieved as someone who does not focus on their studies because they have time to court a suitor. Some how, Boyfriend and girlfriend = lazy kids who are probably failing out of school. Parents are very concerned about their students education, so unless the student is the best in the class, or the parents are a little westernized, they will forbid, truly forbid (not the American dad thing where he says that you can't date until you are 30, but there you are in a homecoming dress at 16), the act of hanging out with boys or contacting boys unless it is for a school project. Sometimes understanding this is difficult, but I believe if I had grown up in this society, I would feel much the same way as the other girls my age, and I wouldn't question the rules my parents have laid down.
It is an interesting difference, and one that I don't completely agree with, but that is what this exchang is about; seeing these differences, understanding where they came from, accepting them, and respecting them. We are all different, and the societies that we all grew up in are sometimes as different as planets, but we are all one race: one world. I'm glad that I have the oppurtunity to see something that contrasts so greatly with the culture that I grew up in, and learn from it.
What I have come to understand about love, dating, relationships, and that very adult word that starts with an "s", is that it is much more sacred here than western culture holds it to be. Some people go through boyfriends or girlfriends like tissues in a box. And everytime, their view of love becomes a little distorted, and they lose sight of what they really need to look for in someone that they will stay with for the rest of their lives. Maybe I am too young, or just speaking out of ignorance, but I believe that American society could benefit from employing some of these rules. But, America is America, and although we are a very progessive nation, nothing like this could ever change.
But, maybe changes could start with parents: establishing high expectations, laying down rules that can not be negotiated, and talking with kids about the importance of schooling, and that boys, even though they are starting to look handsome around their 17th birthday, do in fact have cooties, and are gross. So stay away!
Let me know how you feel about this topic, I love comments:)
Thanks for reading,
A.