Today was my last day of school. And it was not as emotional as I imagined. From friends that have already had good bye parties at school, I've heard that saying good bye to the people you spent most everyday with is pretty teary, sad, and nostalgic. But, I didn't feel any of that. And that's because I feel like my class and I didn't become friends like we should have.
I think we are both to blame for me feeling this way. I did come to school everyday and I did sit in class, but I was shy and quiet, and my interaction with them was limited. There were some classmates that talked to me every now and then, but still, that was every now and then. When my Chinese speaking skills picked up, I tried to interact with them more, but whenever there was a stump in our conversation, they would speak in English or just end the conversation. They are partially to blame too. At the beginning of the year, I would often ask them if we could go out to a night market, get something to eat, or just go somewhere to hang out. Every time, their answer was, "Sorry, I have to study," or "My parents don't let me go out." That's understandable, and I left them alone. But then, when I was sitting home and checking out Facebook, I would see them in posted pictures going out to eat, having fun, and doing all things related to merriment. I felt alone, and I couldn't figure out why whenever I asked, they would always say, "No." Was there something wrong with me? Was I not what they wanted or expected? Why couldn't I be friends with them like Alejandro was with his classmates?
I often ask Alej and Olivia these questions, and sometimes even other Taiwanese classmates, and the answers are, "They are shy," "You should try speaking more Chinese," and, "They are just dumb."
Whatever the case, class is over. I did have good times, maybe not as many as others, but it is what it is. Like Alej said, I have to understand why things are the way they are.
In any case, at least I didn't ruin my make up.